Day 47

I've really been struggling lately. There have been a couple of nights this past week where I stayed up late, and as usual it was a recipe for disaster. I didn't look at porn, but I did look at some suggestive photos. I was browsing my usual sites, and at one site I noticed an ad for American Apparel that somehow slipped through my ad block plus. If you don't know about American Apparel, just know that their advertising is pretty suggestive. And by suggestive I mean down right sexual at times. Anyway, I clicked the ad and before I knew it I was looking at the model photo collections with the models in skimpy outfits and suggestive poses. Sadly I went back there the next night, and it almost felt like I was looking at porn. You know that feeling, of when you find something and you just keep going back to it. I felt dirty and ashamed, and it wasn't even porn! Crazy. Needless to say I haven't gone back to said site, and I'm feeling better about it. I never thought I'd feel this way about simply looking at racy photos. It wasn't even that long ago when pornographic images weren't quite doing it for me anymore. I needed videos, and I'm glad that didn't last very long. Well the weekend is almost already here. Other than my brief stumble the week has been good. Looking forward to Monday, day 50! Exciting stuff.