Day 8

The 8th day of my second attempt, and still going strong. I've been having a few small urges, but nothing I haven't been able to handle. I think it mostly comes out of putting myself in a few bad situations. Every once in a while I'll play some video games late into the night, at which point my wife is asleep and I'm on the computer in the wee hours of the morning. I know it's not the best situation to be in, and I need to try to stay out of it as much as possible. I've been trying to go to bed/wake up earlier, so that this does not become an issue in the future. I know that as soon as this attempt reaches around 30 days, the urges/thoughts will get smaller and smaller, as I have experienced from my previous attempts. I know I can do it. Things are good right now. I also need to make it a point to pray/read my Bible more. I know some may not look to God in times of trouble and temptation, but it really helps me. The way I see it, the more good stuff I put into myself, the less room there is for anything else. It's easier said than done, but it's another thing on my list.

Day 5

First work week into the second attempt, and everything is going good. No real urges yet, which is always a good thing. Unfortunately my wife and I haven't really been intimate lately, which is one way that I usually start to get urges, but that hasn't really affected me. It's not that neither of us want to, but it just seems that we've been really busy as of late, which isn't a really good excuse. I know sex is an important part of marriage, and we need to make it a bigger priority. Other than that, I'm just glad to meet the other individuals that have started blogging recently. As I have said, if you are struggling with the same problem as us all, you have no idea how much the blog helps. This weekend should be pretty tame. I usually only have urges during the week if any. Superbowl will be fun to watch. I'll try to post sometime this weekend, but if not I will definitely post on Monday.

Day 3

Day 3 and still going strong. No big urges yet. My relationship with my wife is going great right now, the love is alive! haha. I am feeling good so far. Yesterday I came across yet another blog that makes this network even stronger. It's crazy. There are probably more people out there that want to be free of this than I know. Well I'm keeping it short for today. I've got a lot of work to do, which is a good thing as that keeps my mind focused. 97 more days to go! woohoo!!

Day 2

The first day went pretty good, and the second has been the same. It is crazy how much more self-control I seem to have just by saying "Ok, no more porn." The blog really helps. In a way it is a sort of accountability. I am going to do my best to start writing every day or at least every other day. Writing here definitely keeps me on track. No real urges so far; I am focused and that is a good sign. Yesterday I came across a few other blogs of people in the same boat that I'm in, and it was a bit of relief. It's nice to know that you're not the only one going through a struggle. I've added these other blogs to my list on the left. Check them out if you get the chance. Some of them have already met their goals, while others have been trying to meet their goals for some time. Either way, it seems we have a sort of network built of people trying to quit porn. If you are trying to do the same I urge you to write about it, maybe even start your own blog. You have no idea how much it helps.

Attempt 2, Day 1

So after a brief period of mistakes, I'm giving it another go. Today marks the "official first day" of my second attempt at reaching 100 days without looking at porn. Unfortunately I messed up a little earlier as I previously wrote, and that initial screw up made for a series of screw ups. It's ridiculous how easy it is to get back into the whole porn-hunting phase. You find one thing, which leads to another, which leads to a video site, which leads to several hours of wasted time in the end and nothing to show for it. I am making progress though. Instead of just looking and looking without remorse, I have stopped and am trying again to completely stop again. I don't know how many times in the past that I've wanted to stop but never really did anything about it.

On another note, I came across this article the other day, which I thought was interesting. It's from the humorous website cracked.com, talking about how addicted most people are to pornography. The part I found most intriguing is that at the end the author invites everyone to a porn-off, a competition to see who can go the longest without looking at porn. I found it ironic that here are a bunch of guys trying to stop looking at porn for fun when I've been trying to do it for who knows how long now. Well I've joined this porn-off, and it starts today. I hope you will join too if you have been struggling as I have. Here's to 100 days and more!

Disaster at Day 43

Well it was a good run, but I messed up today. I threw away all the hard work I've built up in the past month and a half, and I feel stupid for it. I felt so good for a while: for a good amount of time the idea of looking at pornography didn't even really phase me. Of course, it started slow like I previously mentioned: looking at pictures of beautiful women, then pictures of swimsuit models, etc, until the invariable crash. Unlike my previous errors though, I am going to simply pick my self up and give it another go. I can't doddle through this state of defeat lest it take over me. I have a goal, and I plan on reaching it. Tomorrow will start a new day, and with it a new opportunity to stop looking at porn.

Day 30

I am having some intense urges at the moment. Haven't had sex in a little while, and the idea of looking at naked girls is very tempting. I'm writing to get it off my chest. I've been up all night trying to get my pc working, and I finally made a breakthrough. It's usually not a good idea to stay up so late with the computer unsupervised. I just need to think positive. The month of December was a good one. It was porn-free for the most part. It's a good way to start the new year. Only 70 more days to go, and I know I can do it. I don't want to throw away the month of work I have already started. And I need to write more! That will surely help. Perhaps I'll try to post tomorrow morning. Here's to staying strong and a 2009 without pornography.