Monday, April 20, 2009

Day 85

I haven't written in my blog in the longest gap now, and I feel kinda bad. I think the blog really kept me going in February, and while I am still going strong I have had a few days where I struggled a bit. Whether it was looking at scantily clad women or just googling pretty faces I felt like I was heading in the wrong direction in a journey that has taken me so far. I think this is the longest I've gone without porn in the past 5 years.

The other day my wife was surfing the internet on my computer and she asked if we still had the internet filter we had purchased about a year prior. I told her that it had expired a while ago. She asked if I still needed it, and I proudly responded no. I told her that I felt proud to not have to really on a program to not look at websites that I really don't need to. She was happy, I was happy, it was a nice moment. And now only 15 days away from day 100, I feel good about my journey. I've been doing my best to keep not only my actions but my thoughts pure. I want my convictions to be even higher than they have ever been. I can't let little things like looking at scandalous pictures slide anymore. Because it's not porn I sometimes think to myself, "hey, it won't really hurt." When in actuality it really does. Anyway, just know that I'm still here. I'm going to try to write more often in the closing 15 days of my long journey, and I'll definitely write something on May 5th, my 100th day without porn. Here's looking forward to it.

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